Neverwhere’s Universe

Poem/Song Title: Stories of old

When I was a little girl

-safety was never a presence in my life

The only time I felt safe was at my grandmother´s house

Here is my story:

I am pretending to sleep

Feeling wrath approaching me

She hovers over me and my

“pretending-to sleep”-face

She stares at me-I can sense it

-the hatred exudes her

(Spoken word/spoken): She is a hunter- watching her prey

-cold, calculating, menacing

There is no comfort in her eyes

-just pure hatred

I can feel it like a cloud

It surrounds me –

etches deep scars into my soul

(Refr.): I am still healing

I am still scared

I still fear love

But I am taking a leap of faith

I trust and I believe-

that love is real

I sigh a relief when she’s gone

But then the screaming starts-the threats

-the knife I can sense she has in her hand

She´s in the kitchen

-screaming and muttering

to an unseen force

-to a person that is just there in spirit

(Spoken word/spoken):

The strange and hateful voice pours into my body

I start to cry

The pain, the fear

– it´s all-consuming

Nobody knows this side of her

Nobody knows -or pretend not to know- this side of her

(Refr.): I am still healing

I am still scared

I still fear love

-But I am taking a leap of faith

I trust and I believe-

that love is real

The hatred-oh the hatred….it hurts more than anything else

the hatred is what makes me fear love

The doubts, the fear-

Will I ever be good enough to be truly loved?

Will I ever be able to truly love?

How can I love, when I don´t know what true love feels like?

Her writings-her poems- are filled with pure hatred for me

and my absent father

My body still reacts-Somewhere deep inside-I am still that scared child

(Refr.): I am still healing

I am still scared

I still fear love

-But I am taking a leap of faith

I trust and I believe-

that love is real-

Some scars never completely heals

The one person that should have been my safe place-my safe harbour

-never was

It´s hard to learn the ways of love, when the only thing I learned as a girl

-was that love wasn´t safe-or even there…

I have been my own comfort, safety and love

-all my life, but will it be enough?

(Refr.): I am still healing

I am still scared

I still fear love

But I am taking a leap of faith

I trust and I believe-

that love is real

(Whisper/disappearing voice):

I believe that I am able to love

and be loved

-Finally

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